First Blog.

I guess I'll start off by saying I'm Caroline. I am fourteen years old and a freshman. I live in Jackson. I have one sister, Abby, two half brothers, Johnny and Eric, and a step brother, Michael. My mom's name is Brandy. My dad's name is Roger. Up until this past few weeks I've called him my sperm donor because that's basically what he's always been. When I was five my mom got married to a guy named Jack. Me and Jack were very close and I considered him my dad. When I was in sixth grade my mom and Jack started to be off and on all of the time. So Abby, my mom, and I moved to Columbus. We only stayed there for half a year then moved back to Jackson. I cried and cried and begged my mom not to move. I wanted to stay in Columbus and away from Jack, and she knew why. We ended up moving back to Jackson anyways, and back in with Jack. Two years later they split up again, for good this time. Not soon after my mom had a new boyfriend, Paul. Paul has a boy named Michael (my stepbrother). I never got along with Paul. And I always wanted my mom to leave him, but she never would. Now today, they are split up and he is moving out. And I couldn't be happier about that. I have one bestfriend, Laiken. This summer I moved in with her and have been with her since. Some nights we stay at my house and other nights we stay at her house. She knows everything there is to know about me. I trust her with everything and I go to her for all of my problems. I forgot to mention that I do not talk to Jack anymore. We have absolutely no communication. The last time I spoke with him was last week when he called my phone and told me that I am worthless and will never be anything. Other things I forgot to mention would be that my mom smokes weed about every day. And I do not agree with it at all. But, she doesn't care. She still does it. I have a lot of hate and anger towards my mom. Jack gave me and Abby a horrible childhood. He was extremely strict and I never got to do anything. I often got screamed at and I was very sheltered. I didn't have any privacy and he always found out about everything I did somehow. I hated him. But at the same time I couldn't because that was the only dad I'd ever had. He now has a new wife and kids whom I feel extremely sorry for because I know they will go through what I went through too. Aside from all that I have issues with kids at school. Mostly the freshman boys. They always have to say mean things and they never realize how much it gets to me. I'm very emotional and I cry a lot. Some of the time for no reason at all. I do not like my life at all and I've thought about killing myself and tried it many times before. No one knows what I go through. No one knows anything about my life. I can put on the fake smile at school, but at home it just isn't possible to fake it anymore. The only person that's ever really been there for me aside from Laiken is Connor. He's my bestfriend and I don't know what I'd do without him. The only person that really knows a lot about me is Stephen. And now days he's too good to talk to me. And that sucks. I feel like I have no one anymore. So I decided that I'll just start writing it all. And even after all this typing, I still haven't gotten to the secret. Goodbye for now.